I am currently on this journey of unraveling; learning to let go of perfectionism and embrace failure and all that it teaches you, learning to shed off the pressure and weights that come with other people’s expectations and perceptions of you.
The words “You can do it! I believe in you! Don’t give up!” although encouraging and motivating, can become irritating and painful to hear. There are moments in time when you don’t want to hear the words above. All you want is to be seen and recognized as a human with flaws, emotions and feelings. One who needs comforting and not motivation. A human who needs to know that weakness isn’t a flaw. That we all fall short in one area or another and that it is perfectly normal to be where you are or feel the way you do.
I recently had to learn that my job doesn’t define me. If it seems that I am constantly falling short. It doesn’t mean that is who I am. It is the same with other people’s expectations. You are never going to meet up to other people’s expectations of you. You are only going to drown in the pool of low self-worth, not feeling good enough, feeling less than or incompetent. It’s a hard place to be, especially when your thoughts and feelings do nothing to validate you or let you see how false that reality is.
Its okay to get it wrong, its also okay to fail multiple times before succeeding. Its okay to constantly ask questions even though it might make you feel stupid. Its definitely okay to cry over your mistakes and then laugh at how inconsequential it all was. Its okay to not know but be willing to learn.
Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the grace to live free. Take every moment and day as it comes. We are all different. We all learn and pick up at different paces. Its unfair to compare and contrast with subjectivity.
Learning to know yourself, love yourself, discern what is true and what is false, to value yourself and walk in confidence takes time. Don’t beat yourself up when you know better but can’t seem to do better. Take it step by step and remember you are Human!
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